Tao to Koh Lanta with a lot in between

As plate after plate fell, James entered a zone where few have ventured.

For one special night, these two fabulous stylists graced our presence as they turned the Lush brothers a little less than straight.

Drawing on thousands of lessons learned from Michelle, I was able to dominate the hookers at their own game, Connect 4. MUCH to their chagrin.

Sweden 1 - Me 0

The paradise that is Koh Phi Phi.

Our present accommodations.

Wow, it's been a while since I've done this. I blame it mainly on a lack of things to update and expensive/slow internet. Regardless of that, today I bit the bullet and decided to update my neglected blog.

We left Koh Tao on a night ferry down to Phuket. Somehow the crew found us what essentially was a giant bed that slept 7 guys and we all crammed into the fish reeking, diesel filled, bottom of the boat. After a series of short buses we eventually made it to Patong, which is on the island of Phuket (but connected to the mainland via bridges). Patong was probably supposed to last a couple of days, but due to an early checkout time (noon) and the abundance of good times to be had, we continuously woke up shortly before or after our checkout time, forcing us to stay another day. Patong is notorious as the world's second largest sex tourism city, so most nights were spent roaming through the massive hooker malls, trying to avoid the countless ladyboys that would frequently approach us. The vast majority of the tourists there were European men, who, unable to attract a mate back in their homelands, venture to this tiny island in search of some plastic, expensive love.

During the day we rarely ventured outside of our beautiful, air conditioned rooms, and spent way too many hours watching the B movie channel. Most meals were quickly grabbed at the Subway down the street or one of the tiny Thai places that littered the strip. In an effort to add gluttony to our sins, we held an eating competition one night at the all-you-can-eat buffet down the road. The competitors (James and Abes) put on quite a show as they devoured plate after plate after plate after plate of food. It was a fairly spectacular showing by both gladiators, but in the end James came out on top after polishing off ten plates of food. After almost a solid week of this type of thing, all of us felt like some sort of Hastings St. junkie and vowed no matter how badly our heads hurt or what time we woke up, tomorrow we would leave, and so it was that we made the agonizing 30 minute trip across the island to Phuket Town.

Not wanting to be sucked back into any kind of trap, we declared to stay only a single night in Phuket Town and thanks to James's incredibe persistence in obtaining tickets for us, we stayed true to that statement and were on a ferry headed for Koh Phi Phi the next morning.

Koh Phi Phi is one of the tiny spits of land that dot the Andaman Sea. It's most recently known for being almost totally demolished during the tsunami that swept through the area a couple years ago. The island really is a tropical paradise and has to be one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. The actual village on Koh Phi Phi is a complete tourist magnet, with white skinned folk outnumbering the locals probably 4 to 1. Our first night was spent strolling through the different establishments and re-introducing ourselves to the buckets we thought had been left behind for good at Koh Phangan. Koh Phi Phi is also home to a bar we had heard about previously, where anyone and everyone can strap on some Muay Thai gear and go head to head in a full scale kickboxing ring. The first sanctioned fight, between the brothers proved to be one of the most interesting of the night, as James and Jason fought with an unyielding barrage of haymakers and rabbit punches. After three punishing rounds (the max for one of these bouts), James emerged the winner after a tight voting margin. Next up was Ryan and Trevor, where after yet another close fight, the younger combatant (Trev) emerged the victor after going to the judges. Following a few more drunken matches, yours truly stupidly accepted to fight a random Swede who challenged me for no apparent reason. Thinking that any training I had had would somehow come into play after drinking too much, I blindly stepped into the ring and was punished for three rounds. I'm sure that if I had been sober (like he was...), it would have been a much closer match, but alas, the bastard clearly won, breaking my nose in the third round just to add insult to injury...or maybe injury to insult.

My next day was spent ferrying back to the mainland hospital to get my nose x-rayed and looked at. The doctor claimed I would need surgery to properly set it in place for cosmetic reasons, but we both agreed that it really wasn't that bad, so that would be a pointless process. Instead I asked him to do what he could right there in the office and after bracing me for pain, shoved a metal rod up my nose until it was between my eyes and began twisting, pushing and generally playing around. After moving the nose a bit, he stopped after seeing how much pain I was in, despite my stupid pleas to continue. A sudden feeling of nausea washed over me and as I stood up to unload my stomach into a nearby garbage can I collapsed. Next thing I remember, I'm lying on my back in the office after being unconscious for 2-3 minutes, with a dozen tiny thai nurses frantically shoving smelling salts and oxygen under my nose. It was quite an experience given that I had never fainted before, and I think it's something everyone has to try at least once. After resting a bit in the hospital, I emerged back out into the hot Thai sun and jumped on a ferry back to Koh Phi Phi.

Following a great snorkeling trip to some of the surrounding islands, we left Koh Phi Phi yesterday for Koh Lanta, where we now stay. It seems to be another island paradise among a long string of island paradises and after spending a full day here, we plan on leaving tomorrow for Krabi (which I've already visited thanks to their fine hospital...), where on Monday, we lose the two newest additions of our party, Adrian and Randy, as they fly back to rainy Vancouver.