Southwest Oz

Sunset over Bunbury. Somewhere across that ocean, Jason and Ryan anxiously await more Robert Jordan books.

Margaret River beach. I walked along the coast for over 4 1/2 hours and didn't see a single person.

The fallen centipede and a worthy opponent. Craziest thing, at this point, although torn in half, he still wasn't dead, as I would find out seconds later while trying to flick him out of the room. Make sure to zoom in on this one to get his full ferocity.

Even though alone, I knew it would be a rare day before I again got the chance to protect two oceans simoutaneously. The English fellow I was with was wondering what the hell I was doing, hence a major problem with England.

I finished my time off in Perth while doing brickwork for the rest of the week with ole Charlie. Friday night I was offered another quick job to be the doorman for some millionaire's party. The woman who organized it got me a suit to wear and basically I just had to stand outside this guy's penthouse and bring guests into the party. The host of the party was a guy named Tony Smash (not sure if that's his real name...but I doubt it) and he's one of the biggest club owners in Australia, he also owns a number of gold and copper mines throughout Western Australia. Once a year, Tony flies out to Perth, reopens up his penthouse here (which apparently his wife has no idea he owns) and throws this huge party for all the other club owners in Australia and some of his buddies. I kept wondering through the night why a party hosted by a club owner and attended by dozens of other club owners couldn't get a real doorman to do this work, but it seems I was able to pull the act off. Tony pulled up to his own party about an hour late wearing a white suit, in a brand new silver Ferrari with license plates that read "TONY", what an entrance, even I was swooning. The next few hours I basically just stood outside and marked everyone off the guest list as these 60 year old millionaires showed up with 20 something beauties hanging off their arms. The closest thing I had to do to security was turn back a drunken group of Aboriginies who tried to get in around midnight. Shortly after that, Tony came down and told me to come upstairs and enjoy the open bar. I took full advantage of that situation and throughout the night (after everyone thinking I really was a professional doorman) was offered 4 jobs at rival clubs throughout Oz, including a bartending job at the biggest club in Sydney, which I regretfully had to decline.

The following morning I hopped on a train out of Perth towards Bunbury to finally see some of Western Australia. Stayed a night in Bunbury before heading south along a kangaroo corpse ridden road to Margaret River. This being the centre of the area that produces Australia's finest wines, I obviously insisted on sampling the local produce. Margaret River is also known as the site of some of the best surfing waves in the world and is home to one of the biggest surfing competitions in the world. Heading down to the beach it was easy to see why, the waves rolling in over the Indian Ocean were enormous and some of the riders out there were equally awesome.

It was in Margaret River that I had probably the closest brush to death I've ever experienced. After another very late night thanks to the World Cup (Australia being tearfully beaten by the dirty Italian team...), I woke up the next morning to find a companion sleeping next to me, a 6-7 inch centipede. He was sleeping peacefully on top of my bag which was laid next to the bed. My first reaction to call out for Jason (who usually handles these types of situations) was stemmed by the fact that he's in Africa. I would have to do this myself. At first I thought it may actually be one of those plastic ones that you see for sale in toy stores, that's how big this sucker was. I slowly got out of bed and proceeded to throw my shoes at the beast. He was sent off the bag and across the room where he landed next to my footwear, which he quickly slithered into. Grabbing a 2x4 I then had an on and off engagement with the monster that lasted over 40 minutes. Can't believe how tough this thing was, I hit him so many times yet he wouldnt relent. Instead he would respond by latching onto the end of the board with his pincers and attempting to fight back. I finally won the match and threw him out of the room to be eaten by the cockatoos outside. Many a pint of ale were downed in celebration as I described the heroic tale to my roommates who had been out surfing at the time.

The next day I was off to Augusta (on a school bus...), the point at where the Southern and Indian Oceans collide as well as where the humpback whales come to hang out after it gets too chilly farther south. Another one street town, with not much to offer aside from the awesome beach views. After waiting patiently on the beach I was finally able to spot 4 or 5 of the whales flicking their tails up and doing some rolls in the water about 150 metres offshore. Very cool to watch. Many a pint of ale were downed in celebration as I described the whales to my english roommate who had been out riding his bike at the time.

Now after my little sojourn south, I'm back in Perth awaiting to fly out tomorrow to Kenya and trying to take full advantage of my last hours of western culture and food! Plan to catch the Argentina/Germany game in the Kuala Lumpur airport in one of my monstrous layovers tomorrow. Later Australia, it's been great!

Still in Perth

One of the hidden little bays of Rottnest Island.

Half Kangaroo, half rat, and completely useless.

Pretending to know what I'm doing.

Life in Perth has become a pleasant but somewhat boring monotony. I figure that after traveling so rapidly since leaving home, it just doesn't feel quite right to stay somewhere for too long. To counter this I've essentially explored every part of the city and the surrounding area, including Rottnest Island, which is just off the coast.

Rottnest is only about 9km long and is the only home to the mini kangaroo known as a Quokka. They're basically giant rats with little kangaroo feet, that hop around the island and turn into furry little balls when scared. Even though Rottnest is the only place they live, they sure live there in abundance. The bloody things are everywhere. People have to install mini fences and boards around their houses to keep them from getting in, I almost hit 5 or 6 on my bike as I puttered around the island. The main town on Rottnest (uniquely named "The Settlement") is something of a dream land, where these giant rats hop around and peacocks wander freely through convenience stores and down the paths. Strange place, but awesome, managed to see a huge group of dolphins doing flips for about an hour as they play in the huge waves coming across the Indian Ocean.

Luckily there's a good crowd now at the hostel and most of my free time is spent having a few beers at the pub with them and watching the world cup. Had a big night out on Saturday with a logger from Nelson BC named James and four Irish guys. We visited Black Bettys (aptly named Blackout Bettys by the locals due to its all you can drink happy hour special), and apparently things got a little out of hand as James and I pledged our souls to kicking the English out of Northern Ireland. Pretty sure we joined the IRA, so I'm not sure what that will mean for my future. Woke up at 5am with the world cup blaring and a didgeridoo on my lap (which I can play now and am actually getting quite skilled at if I don't say so myself).

Other news from around Western Australia...I booked my flight to Africa and was unfortunately unable to make it to Mauritius for a week in between, so now I'll be going all over the southern hemisphere in my attempts to finally land in Kenya sometime on July 1st. Was also pleased to hear that the majority of the 1st, the same day as our country's glorious and sacred birth, will be spent sitting in an airport in Qatar, unable to go outside due to visa restrictions and roaming bands of al-Qaida.

Since I figured I would be here for a while and after suffering the massive hit to my bank account courtesy of the plane ticket, I decided to do something with my unemployed life and finally get a job, breaking over 8 months of not lifting a finger. It's really just a string of odd jobs organized by some lady. Last week I painted some old woman's ceiling and did some landscaping work for another. All this week I'm the assistant for Charlie, a 74 year old Italian bricklayer who basically just rambles on about breasts and randomly farts, he's a good egg though and keeps telling me to stop working so hard. Once in a while his wife shows up, who's english is far worse than his (even though they've both lived here for 51 years). Yesterday after Charlie left, she had a seat next to me and gave me hell (literally) about not being Catholic. "You nice boy, you hard work, but you go to hell". I contemplated throwing her in the cellar that I was digging out and burying her. Luckily Charlie returned after an hour and told me he wasn't a Catholic either. When I asked him why she wasn't bugging him, he said, "cause I just tell her I am so that she'll shut up for once in 50 years".

Unfortunately work and the World Cup schedule don't coincide very nicely, as the games go all night and each day I show up for work a little bit more tired than the last, all in good fun though. In an effort to actually do some traveling, I think I may actually be leaving Perth this Saturday to venture south for 5 days or so, before returning here to fly to Africa!

Also, was quite disheartened to see that the Oilers lost. Me and a guy from Saskatchewan had made plans to actually get up and watch the game from an all day pub, but were unable to due to conflicting work schedules...bahh.

Perth

The new and improved backpacker version of Danielle.

Living quarters at Penner's, it would have been impossible to cram more people in this little room.

Perth in all its glory.

Sometime during the final minutes of the Australia-Japan match, no idea what I'm trying to accomplish here, but I do know that at this point I was well on my way to the hangover I'm now nursing.

Danielle and I flew back down to Sydney the day after my last update. We went out one last time with her buddy from home Hollie, who showed us a bit more of the city. The next morning Dani flew back to Vancouver and left me all alone at the airport... I found my way back to Penner's place after scoring a ride with some people from Edmonton and adjusted back to being a lone backpacker. Stayed at Penner's cramped little apartment for two fun nights before flying to Perth. My original plan of travelling to Alice Springs (central Australia) then up to Darwin and down to Perth were squashed when I realized just how bloody expensive this country was. The travel agent came up with a really good deal on a flight to Perth that left the next day so I decided to jump on it. I'm now where I expected to be in about 2-3 weeks and no idea what to do from here seeing as everything costs a small fortune. I'm slowly but sadly coming to terms with the same fact that everyone else in the hostel has which is that it's a whole lot cheaper to just hang out in Perth and watch the World Cup than it is to actually do anything. I stayed at an extremely boring, dull hostel before finally picking up my bags and travelling across town to a new one. Went out last night to watch what we figured would be the crushing defeat of Australia against Japan, but were pleasantly surprised with the opposite. We celebrated the victory with a few cocktails. Luckily for me that wasn't the only major upset in sports last night. Sometime in the middle of the game I decided to join the Perth 8-ball pool tournament against my better judgement. There were forty or so players, some with their own cues and shooting gloves and everything else that made them look quite superior to yours truly. A small recap of the event as I can recall from my blurry memory:

Game #1 - Not sure who this guy was, but he somehow sucked even worse than I did and after both missing a few hundred shots, I finally ended up the victor.

Game #2 - This guy was damn good. I was perfectly set up to lose after not having sunk a single ball, when the moron mistakes the 8 ball for one of his purple ones (theres orange and dark purple balls, first person to sink their colour, then the 8 ball wins the match) and sinks it, therein securing my victory. It was in this round that the guy I was there with, Dan (who was the reigning champion), lost to a hotshot Brasilian with slick backed hair, who wore a special shooting glove and had his own ornate pool cue, more about him later.

Game #3 - Was now just laughing at the fact that I had made it to round 3 (and that Dan hadn't) and continued to celebrate with pitchers of beer. The competition was getting fierce now and all the crap players (except for me) had been weeded out of the tournament. This was yet another game where I played exceptionally poor, having only sunk one ball while my competition had had his way with the pool table. Luckily for me he sunk the cue ball whilst trying to sink the 8 ball at the very end, so he lost, onto round 4!

Game #4 - This game was against another buddy, a guy named James from Sudan (probably the first and last Sudanese traveller I'll ever meet...). James is an incredibly skilled player, who unfortunately had bet $400 on the assured Japanese world cup victory and it was during our game that Australia scored the quick 2 goals that won them the match. This angered James greatly and unfortunately affected his game to the point that I was actually able to beat him, or rather it was another case of him beating himself by constantly sinking the cue ball and giving me more chances. It took a damn long time, but I eventually beat him, somehow.

Game #5 - The Grand Finale - Having no idea why I was even still in the tournament, let alone playing for the grand prize, I turned to face my opposition, the Brasilian with the slick backed hair who had defeated Dan. I knew it would be trouble when he took his jacket off to reveal his lucky Ronaldo jersey and calmly slipped on his black shooting glove. The next 10 minutes were a complete black out for me. I don't know if it was the roar of the crowd cheering for me while making sidebets, the celebrations of the Australian soccer team on TV, or just the incredible amount of Victoria Bitter I'd consumed. I awoke from the trance having somehow beaten the guy, it was kind of like that scene from Old School where Will Farrell does the debate. Apparently I made some fantastic trick shots that won me the game, at one point prompting the DJ to mutter into the microphone, "my god the Canadian guy is amazing", I have no recollection of any of this, but I'm sure it happened.

I quickly secured my prize (a 24 pack of Toohey's Extra Dry) and retired to a nearby park with my fanclub to hold a celebration. Woke up this morning feeling all the effects...

Anyhow, that went on for much longer than expected, so I'll cut it off here. Still have no idea where I'll be headed from here, and I may just stay in Perth to save money, who knows!

Up to the Top

Lake Mackenzie on Fraser Island. Apparently voted the 7th best place in the world to go for a swim...whatever that means.

Me. Behind me, the Great Barrier Reef.

75 mile beach on Fraser Island, also acts as the highway around the island.

Danielle being attacked by Lorikeets, ha. It was all fun and games until one shat on my shirt, I have now been shitted on by a bird on 3 continents during this trip, can't wait for Africa!

Kangaroo that tried to kiss my camera, crazy little gaffers.

We decided to take full advantage of our fabulous living quarters and spent 5 nights in Noosa. One of the days we ventured over to Fraser Island, which is just off the coast and north a bit. It's the largest sand island in the world and is full of those typical paradise shots that you see on postcards. Saw some dingoes scouting around for little babies to eat and about a thousand types of birds, but for the most part it was just picturesque scenery. Saturday we bussed back to Brisbane and then flew up to Cairns. The great thing about Australia, is that somehow their long haul domestic flights are actually cheaper than buses...it makes no sense, but I'm not complaining. Cairns is quite a bit more tropical and warmer than any other part of Oz I've been to. As usual the people are all extremely nice and with the local wildlife, it helps support my favourite new pasttime of watching 3 foot bats each every thing in sight while having a few Victoria Bitters. Yesterday I headed out to the reef (whilst Dani sunned herself by the pool) and did three dives off the coast of Cairns. Didn't see anything too exciting, but there were tons of massive fish and some turtles. Was a little depressing to see the amount of dead coral down there, the other reefs I've dived in Central America typically looked much healthier. Seeing this, I grabbed two sea cucumbers and went to work protectin' it for the underwater camera, I know it was stupid to do without any backup, but it had to be done (I later found out that the underwater pictures were $16 each, which I obviously cannot afford...but everyone in my dive group was wondering what the hell I was doing, especially when I transformed the protectin' shot into an amateur underwater porn video, for those of you who know what sea cucumbers do when scared...well, you can see how this came about) . We have one more lazy day here in Cairns, which for some reason Im spending on the internet..., before we fly off to Sydney tomorrow for Dani to return to Vancouver *sniff* *sniff*.